KKKlueless

www.kkk.com

The KKK. We've been known to, say, "insult" various groups of people on this site. We're not the least bit racist, we just can't help going for the cheap gag elicited when we say "If I want Mexican food, I'll go to MacDonalds." Also, we try awfully hard to insult everyone's momma, not just yours, and including our own. But, when it comes down to it, there's nothing we hate more here at the circus than a real, honest to God, born and inbred bigot. The KuKluxKlan is without a doubt a complete waste of molecules.

White people get to rhyme any words they want.

Today's WOM article serves up some juicy gossip about that darling bunch of trick-or-treaters: the Ku Klux Klan. Now, I've been known to spread the good word from time to time. Like a good zealot, I went to church picnics until I got banned. Ever run over a skunk? Try a crappy old nun sometime. There ain't enough ketchup in a dozen Ed Wood movies to cover that musty smell. Anyway, am I to blame if the visage of Jesus appears as our Nubian Lord on my Fruit of the Looms? And I lead the Mexican's Crusade through the picnic and three cars are stolen and all the lettuce had been picked out of the Caesar salad? And I put a .22 caliber bullet through the powdered brow of Father Turniphead? Well, okay, but the part about the ketchup?

Anyway, I was typing in random url keywords yesterday, because, hey, maybe there's some porn there. Naturally www.kkk.com/intro.htm had black girls tied up and bleeding with donkeys hanging from nipple chains and things, but there was a noticable lack of nudity involved. Why waste a perfectly good donkey then? Well apparently these guys have issues with ethnicities that aren't theirs.

Hey, kkk.com and kkk.com BOTH have dots! Sweet.

Apparently, the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan dislike jews, asians, hispanics, canadians, really tan people, really muddy people, non-gun owners, gun owners who don't shoot canadians, gun owners who murder a negro and just throw the precious gun into the river, people who are gay, people who have sex with gay people, and people who have sloppy AIDS public bathroom sex with other gay people and do not use a seat tissue. I mean, have some respect.

I have here some actual quotes from what quite possibly is the stupidest collection of propaganda ever written by men wrapped in their own bedding. I know when I was little I used to have to make up meanings for names for this dungeon game I and some friends made when we were in grade school. You know, we'd come up with a town name that went something like "Nazartholocaneezzerynaziandyodainpiecontest'ishittycrapberg", since we were precociously blessed with the understanding that longer was better. (Since then I realized it is not the length of the word, but the girth of the word and how hard you pinch her nipples when you force it in her rectal passage that counts.) Usually the town ended up being just another place where you have to go and kill all the lepers to get the longsword +2. The KKK aren't even that bright:

You catch more negroes with laughter than with a shotgun. The caption is "Resisting Evil". Apparently "evil" means "fashion".

The name Ku Klux Klan comes from the Greek word kuklos, meaning circle, because in it is contained some of the unique characteristics of the White (or Aryan) race. The wheel is certainly the best symbol of creativity; hence the creativity of the White race, and the circle is the oldest symbol of unity. Kuklos thought about in this context simply means White Racial Brotherhood. Ku Klux was simply taken from the word kuklos and Klan was added.

Yes, apparently the circle 'contains' some of the unique characteristics of the White (or Midwestern Inbred) race. If you spent your first three days of childhood staring at the circle of sky through the top of the rainbarrel, then yes for god's sake, maybe you're right, Klanners. Also, I never got that Ph.D. in literature, but I'm fairly sure that a 'wheel' can represent any fucking thing I can think of. Freud? Vagina. Jung? Consciousness. Homer? A doughnut.

Oh, this is good: "The Klan robe and hood is used for ritual such as is done by Masons, Odd Fellows, college fraternities and even Mormons." Wow, sign me up, friend! I've seen some of the rituals performed by fraternities and Mormons and their only difference is that the frat boys don't have to add the girl to their collection of wives afterward. That's like saying "The Care Bear costume is used for ritual such as is done by Nazis, Ancient Romans, Sex clubs, and even Congressmen."

I bet they go through a lot of marshmallows.

Also, after reading two consecutive words on their site, you'll realize that nobody in the clan speaks English. I'm not kidding. "We are the fog, the First of God! Let us again begin to plan, to train and to act as such in deadly seriousness. For, if we do not, we shall be quite dead, seriously!" Is this parody? Is the KKK making fun of me? I don't have to take this abuse from you. Hey, here's a tip: no matter how much you try, you'll never breed canines into the elite ranks of the Klan, so please stop trying.

I cannot even begin to point out everything that's wrong with this one: "The enemies of God have lived in their luxuries through sin. They can only thrive on their compost of lies. But God's Word is sure and unchanging no matter what the haters of "kind after kind" may say. The fact that God chose a holy and special people to be above all the races of the earth speaks for itself (Deuteronomy 7:6). Truth is not meant to be warm and fuzzy for liberal minded antichrists. Numbers 25 is a javelin lesson for race mixing. Get the message?" Yeah, I get the message. I think it goes something like 'Hey, kids! Don't inject sperm into your own sister!"

I could not make up a better quote than the last one. "The Klan is surging; it is pulsating forward and growing with every day and every hour." If that doesn't prove to you that the KKK is just one giant fucking cock, I don't know what would.

Cheap Shots:

"Because of persecution by the Federal government during the 1940s, which today we refer to as ZOG, the National Klan Office was disbanded."
Lost that flashcard, did ya?

"The false teachers of churchianity justify interracial marriages in order to keep the White race blind to administering God's laws."
Studying linenology at schoolianity, I realized that I shoot negroidisms because of my small penisianity.

"Well, kinsmen, let us resolve any questions or doubts which you may have about that viper emanating hiss."
My viper is emanating hiss. Can I still have unprotected sex with my dog who died last winter?

(this one is a link): "kkkontacts"
Godless, pitiless, rotted souls + bad fashion sense = kkkrazy kkkute! Giggle!

"The Knights even has a woman on its National advisory board, the Grand Council."
She's in charge of sucking off.

"The opinions expressed below represent those of the Grand Dragon of the Northwest Regional Office and not necessarily anyone else."
That punch in the testicles represents my fist crushing your unborn children and not necessarily anyone else's fist.

"Quarantine all AIDS carriers."
What, and take away their robes and burning crosses too?

"It was the psychological warfare and innovation of the 'now you see them, now you don't' type of cavalry tactics that enabled the Klan to terrify the foe and divide him up into easily digestible morsels."
Mmm! Take-out Negro.