UPN: Tree Bitch'z
Latoya, Kanesha, and Abdulakeshanesha find spirited adventure in downtown Detroit. Comical misadventures include finding a ten dollar bill and 'scoring', babysitting Kanesha's younger brother (who steals the white neighbor's Lincoln), and bringing rival gangs together in peace and brotherly love with a rap-cookoff.


PBS: Fleshy Fat Guy Alligator Hunter
Dr. Rick "Piggy" Bate forages the wild backcountry of Australia, Africa, and South America accompanied by emaciated cameramen and canteens of barbeque sauce. Watch in fascination as Dr. Bate observes crocodiles, poisonous snakes, and pygmy warriors and then loses whole chunks of flesh and fat to their incredible appetites. Educational programming has never been so questionable. Narrated by Britney Spears.


FOX: WWF Ultimate Fighting Nitrous Championship
A six-foot-tall pectoral muscle with a four inch tall belt fights a seven-foot-tall gonad sporting black spandex and a leather mask. Supporting cast includes a pair of 400 pound breasts and a ribbon thong wedged between the perfect ass of Ms. Iowa, 1992. Features include retinal-tracking referee-controlled flame-throwers, four automatic weapons hidden in the center ring, the delicous "Violence Girls", and liberal use of the "spherize filter". Special guest choreography by Pol Pot.


Sci-Fi: Everything's All Dark, And I Think I See an Alien
Every week, sex-tensioned "Moldier" and "Sullied" see bright flashy lights, strange silhouettes, mutilated bodies, and lots and lots of darkness. Sometimes the lights are red or maybe white, and sometimes the shadowy figures have big heads, other times not, and there's usually some people who kind of maybe have a motive, but maybe the ghosts are real or something, and it's just really dark and stuff.


NBC: Enemies
Three men and three women move in together and share hilarious hijinks even though each one hates the other five with homicidal intensity. Beneath a charming, soft-guy exterior, "Roth" conceals resentment, jealousy, and a gloc-9. Attention-starved "Monika" dissolves strychnine in "Rachill's" coffee, and "Joeish" makes tiny incisions in "Chandelier's" prophylactics.